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	<title>Used Tractor Values &#187; Funny</title>
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		<title>Funny Joke?</title>
		<link>http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/funny-joke/02/28/2010/</link>
		<comments>http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/funny-joke/02/28/2010/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:33:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joke]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/funny-joke/02/28/2010/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[also a smart strategy you can use if u ever find yourself in this situation&#8230;. one day a lawyer was driving down the road in his mercedes when a farmer driving a tractor crashed into him, but luckily no one got hurt, unluckily, the mercedes was damaged. so the lawyer called the police to settle [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>also a smart strategy you can use if u ever find yourself in this situation&#8230;.<br />
one day a lawyer was driving down the road in his mercedes when a farmer driving a tractor crashed into him, but luckily no one got hurt, unluckily, the mercedes was damaged. so the lawyer called the police to settle this<br />
Lawyer: you&#8217;re going to have to pay me thousands of dollars since its your fault<br />
Farmer: I know I know i feel terrible<br />
Lawyer: good<br />
Farmer: tell you what i have a bottle of wine in my trunk, have a drink my treat<br />
Lawyer: ok ok sure<br />
so the laywer had his good long drink<br />
soon the police came and asked about what happens<br />
Laywer: its all his fault, he crashed into ME<br />
Police: WE&#8217;ll be the judge of that<br />
the lawyer realized his fatal mistake as the police took out the DUI testing stuff&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://smartphony.net/">Smartphone Software</a></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Who Agrees This Is Too True To Be Funny: That &#8220;billion&#8221; Is A Funny Word For Politicians?</title>
		<link>http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/who-agrees-this-is-too-true-to-be-funny-that-billion-is-a-funny-word-for-politicians/12/20/2009/</link>
		<comments>http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/who-agrees-this-is-too-true-to-be-funny-that-billion-is-a-funny-word-for-politicians/12/20/2009/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Dec 2009 22:27:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA["politicians"]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Agrees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Billion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[That]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[This]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[True]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Word]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/who-agrees-this-is-too-true-to-be-funny-that-billion-is-a-funny-word-for-politicians/12/20/2009/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[http://www.cagw.org/site/PageServer?page… LET&#8217;S VOTE OUT *EVERY* CONGRESSMAN (REPRESENTATIVE &#38; SENATOR) EXCEPT SUPER EARMARK FIGHTER JEFF FLAKE (ARIZONA). *** This is too true to be funny&#8230; The next time you hear a politician use the word &#8216;billion&#8217; in a casual manner, think about whether you want the &#8216;politicians&#8217; spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>http://www.cagw.org/site/PageServer?page…</p>
<p>LET&#8217;S VOTE OUT *EVERY* CONGRESSMAN (REPRESENTATIVE &amp; SENATOR) EXCEPT SUPER EARMARK FIGHTER JEFF FLAKE (ARIZONA).<br />
***<br />
This is too true to be funny&#8230;<br />
The next time you hear a politician use the word &#8216;billion&#8217; in a casual manner, think about whether you want the &#8216;politicians&#8217; spending YOUR tax money.<br />
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.<br />
A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.<br />
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.<br />
C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.<br />
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.<br />
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.<br />
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let&#8217;s take a look at New Orleans It&#8217;s amazing what you can learn with some simple division Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans .  Interesting number, what does it mean?<br />
A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.<br />
B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets !! $1,329,787.<br />
C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.<br />
Washington, D.C .. HELLO!!! &#8230; Are all your calculators broken??  (Of course not.)<br />
Tax his land,<br />
Tax his wage,<br />
Tax his bed in which he lays.<br />
Tax his tractor,<br />
Tax his mule,<br />
Teach him taxes is the rule.<br />
Tax his cow,<br />
Tax his goat,<br />
Tax his pants,<br />
Tax his coat.<br />
Tax his ties,<br />
Tax his shirts,<br />
Tax his work,<br />
Tax his dirt.<br />
Tax his tobacco,<br />
Tax his drink,<br />
Tax him if he tries to think.<br />
Tax his booze,<br />
Tax his beers,<br />
If he cries,<br />
Tax his tears.<br />
Tax his bills,<br />
Tax his gas,<br />
Tax his notes,<br />
Tax his cash.<br />
Tax him good and let him know<br />
That after taxes, he has no dough.<br />
If he hollers,<br />
Tax him more,<br />
Tax him until he&#8217;s good and sore.<br />
Tax his coffin,<br />
Tax his grave,<br />
Tax the sod in which he lays.<br />
Put these words upon his tomb,<br />
&#8216;Taxes drove me to my doom!&#8217;<br />
And when he&#8217;s gone,<br />
We won&#8217;t relax,<br />
We&#8217;ll still be after the inheritance TAX!!<br />
Accounts Receivable Tax<br />
Building Permit Tax<br />
CDL License Tax<br />
Cigarette Tax<br />
Corporate Income Tax<br />
Dog License Tax<br />
Federal Income Tax<br />
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)<br />
Fishing License Tax<br />
Food License Tax<br />
Fuel Perm it Tax<br />
Gasoline Tax<br />
Hunting License Tax<br />
Inheritance Tax<br />
Inventory Tax<br />
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),<br />
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),<br />
Liquor Tax,<br />
Luxury Tax,<br />
Marriage License Tax,<br />
Medicare Tax,<br />
Property Tax,<br />
Real Estate Tax,<br />
Service charge taxes,<br />
Social Security Tax,<br />
Road Usage Tax (Truckers),<br />
Sales Taxes,<br />
Recreational Vehicle Tax,<br />
School Tax,<br />
State Income Tax,<br />
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),<br />
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,<br />
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,<br />
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,<br />
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,<br />
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,<br />
Telephone State and Local Tax,<br />
Telephone Usage Charge Tax,<br />
Utility Tax,<br />
Vehicle License Registration Tax,<br />
Vehicle Sales Tax,<br />
Watercraft Registration Tax,<br />
Well Permit Tax,<br />
Workers Compensation Tax.<br />
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?<br />
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,<br />
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.<br />
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.<br />
What happened?  Can you spell &#8216;politicians!&#8217; </p>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Is This Funny To You?</title>
		<link>http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/is-this-funny-to-you/12/18/2009/</link>
		<comments>http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/is-this-funny-to-you/12/18/2009/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:31:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[This]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://usedtractorvalues.net/uncategorized/is-this-funny-to-you/12/18/2009/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table at which he&#8217;s fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes are the rule. Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts anyway! Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat. Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table at which he&#8217;s fed.<br />
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes are the rule.<br />
Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts anyway!<br />
Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.<br />
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt.<br />
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think.<br />
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries tax his tears.<br />
Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways to tax him.<br />
Tax all he has then let him know that you won&#8217;t be done<br />
Till he has no dough.<br />
When he screams and hollers; then tax him some m ore,<br />
Tax him till he&#8217;s good and sore.<br />
Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, tax the sod in which he&#8217;s laid.<br />
Put these words upon his tomb, &#8216;Taxes drove me to my doom&#8230;&#8217;<br />
When he&#8217;s gone, do not relax, its time to apply the inheritance tax.<br />
Accounts Receivable Tax<br />
Building Permit Tax<br />
CDL license Tax<br />
Cigarette Tax<br />
Corporate Income Tax<br />
Dog License Tax<br />
Excise Taxes<br />
Federal Income Tax<br />
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)<br />
Fishing License Tax<br />
Food License Tax<br />
Fuel Permit Tax<br />
Gasoline Tax (44.75 cents per gallon)<br />
Gross Receipts Tax<br />
Hunting License Tax<br />
Inheritance Tax<br />
Inventory Tax<br />
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)<br />
Liquor Tax<br />
Luxury Taxes<br />
Marriage License Tax<br />
Medicare Tax<br />
Personal Property Tax<br />
Property Tax<br />
Real Estate Tax<br />
Service Charge Tax<br />
Social Security Tax<br />
Road Usage Tax<br />
Sales Tax<br />
Recreational Vehicle Tax<br />
School Tax<br />
State Income Tax<br />
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)<br />
Telephone Federal Excise Tax<br />
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax<br />
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes<br />
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax<br />
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax<br />
Telephone State and Local Tax<br />
Telephone Usage Charge Tax<br />
Utility Taxes<br />
Vehicle License Registration Tax<br />
Vehicle Sales Tax<br />
Watercraft Registration Tax<br />
Well Permit Tax<br />
Workers Compensation Tax<br />
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?<br />
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the<br />
most prosperous in the world.<br />
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in<br />
the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.<br />
What in the world happened? Can you spell &#8216;politicians?&#8217;<br />
And I still have to &#8216;press 1&#8242; for English!?!?!?!?<br />
I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times!!!!! YOU can help<br />
it get the re!!!!<br />
GO AHEAD &#8211; - &#8211; BE AN AMERICAN!!!!!!</p>
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